Hoovie's saying the things I've been saying for years

"DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish!" (daft-ryosuke) 01/17/2018 at 14:58 • Filed to: None

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It’s common knowledge that I am a GM apologist, however, it seems that most of the heaviest GM apologists have no apologies for the Hummer brand. Except for me.

I thought Hummer was a clever idea for GM to try and implement, and for the most part, they really tried their best (or tried as much as the corporate big wigs would allow). Most people shame the H2 and H3 as just reskinned Tahoes and Colorados, but as Hoovie explains, they’re really a lot, lot more than that.

I really think Hummer deserved a second chance, and with some proper engineering could have really become a proper Jeep and Land Rover competitor.

Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) > DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish! 01/17/2018 at 15:04

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H3T was the only good product they ever made

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish! 01/17/2018 at 15:19

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I used to work for a Hummer dealership in college as a lot/delivery boy and delivered my fair share of H2's. They’re turds, just massive overweight turds. H3's are good trucks, but H2's man... turds.

HammerheadFistpunch > DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish! 01/17/2018 at 15:36

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http://oppositelock.jalopnik.com/why-the-h2-should-have-been-a-classic-1447347444

Textured Soy Protein > DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish! 01/17/2018 at 15:43

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I think the objections to Hummers were twofold, neither of which have much to do with their merits as vehicles:

1. They were the embodiment of FUCK YEAH MURRICA I’M GONNA BURN AS MUCH GAS AS I WANT and a few years after their introduction gas prices went way up so public opinion shifted towards more fuel-efficient vehicles. That didn’t last of course, but at the time, the Hummer was the symbol of all that had suddenly become unfashionable.

2. A lot of their owners did this with them.

Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection > DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish! 01/17/2018 at 15:53

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Yeah, but are they worth this?

https://charlotte.craigslist.org/cto/d/hummer-h3t-alpha/6443843402.html

I mean, it’s clean, but is it “135k miles and only $2000 under original MSRP clean?” They were listed at $36,500 back when they were new.

According to the westegg.com inflation calculator, “What cost $ 36500 in 2009 would cost $ 42871.14 in 2017.” That’s still only about 22% depreciation over nearly a decade. Bureau of Labor Statistics comes up with $42,616, so essentially the same.

And by that point they were all but giving away Hummers. In September 2009 incentives on H3 models were close to $5000.

So basically we’re looking at a big ol’ Crack Pipe.

Your boy, BJR > DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish! 01/17/2018 at 15:59

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No vehicle embodies the Bush-Cheney more than the H2. That car is the very definition of post 9-11/pre Obama “MERICA FUCK YEAH” years.

DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish! > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 01/17/2018 at 16:03

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I can apologize for the brand.

I can’t apologize for what owners do with them.

Milky > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 01/17/2018 at 16:16

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How’d this happen?

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Milky 01/17/2018 at 16:37

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Too many designers saying “Bro, you know what would be sick?”

I have another burner, try to guess it! > HammerheadFistpunch 01/17/2018 at 18:05

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What rear suspension did the H2 and 3 have? I’m curious if they had solid axles or IRS like the military trucks.

HammerheadFistpunch > I have another burner, try to guess it! 01/17/2018 at 18:10

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H2 was a kind of bastard Tahoe (unique frame...mostly...with HD rear axle and IFS front) and the H3 was a Colorado (leaf sprung solid rear axle with IFS). There was nothing military about them.

McMike > DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish! 01/17/2018 at 18:17

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Yeah, but does it have zoomies?

Akio Ohtori - RIP Oppo > DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish! 01/17/2018 at 21:06

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Why... why does he talk like that?

DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish! > Akio Ohtori - RIP Oppo 01/17/2018 at 21:36

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He’s a troubled man.

For Sweden > DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish! 01/17/2018 at 22:59

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Hoovie “Why Haven’t Tavarsh and I Created A Website” Garage, Esq.

For Sweden > HammerheadFistpunch 01/17/2018 at 23:00

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This should have won a Pulitzer

pip bip - choose Corrour > DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish! 01/18/2018 at 05:11

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not even for $1

adamftw > HammerheadFistpunch 01/18/2018 at 06:51

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I still want one

Flavien Vidal > DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish! 01/18/2018 at 07:42

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You do know that he is always wrong, right? Entertaining... fun... most likely nice... But soooo wrong. ALL. THE. TIME.

Akio Ohtori - RIP Oppo > DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish! 01/18/2018 at 09:58

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To his credit he didn’t start begging for likes until the end of the video, unlike most.

DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish! > Flavien Vidal 01/18/2018 at 10:23

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The only time he’s been wrong is when he ranted about old Corvettes being better than new ones abc used the worst generation as an example.

functionoverfashion > DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish! 01/18/2018 at 11:03

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I’ve been off-roading in one quite a bit, although it was years ago now. But the H2 was quite capable off-road, so long as you had the room to maneuver it. I followed the H2 in both an XJ Cherokee and a YJ Wrangler, and both struggled to keep up - not that they couldn’t follow, but the H2 could bowl through things so much faster, without injuring the occupants.

I’ll give it that, at least.

LongbowMkII > DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish! 01/18/2018 at 12:42

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im going to totally buy one that this idiot beat on.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > HammerheadFistpunch 01/18/2018 at 14:35

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The H3 was a GMT345 platform rather than the GMT355 the Colorado was built on... not sure what the differences are. I know they’re related but I’d have thought there would be some differences if they’d rename the platform over it.

HammerheadFistpunch > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 01/18/2018 at 14:39

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They are the same platform...more or less. There are differences but the similarities are greater than their differences.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > HammerheadFistpunch 01/18/2018 at 14:43

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Do you have any idea what the differences were? I’m curious.

HammerheadFistpunch > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 01/18/2018 at 14:44

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I don’t. Might be worth looking into

PyramidHat > DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish! 01/18/2018 at 23:36

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Drive them to the gym on paved roads?

Tristan > Milky 01/19/2018 at 00:23

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The Tahoe was only ever available as a 1/2 ton, whereas the H2 only came in 3/4 ton flavor. Beefier frame, 14-bolt semi-floater vs. 10-bolt, 4L80E vs. 4L60E, beefier front suspension, beefier brakes... My 3/4 ton Suburban weighs almost 1,000 pounds more than my previous 1/2 ton Suburban.

Flavien Vidal > DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish! 01/19/2018 at 07:25

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Look at his cars... he is WRONG incarnated :)